31 December, 2007 |

Some Seasonal Positives

Well, I promised I'd try and be more optimistic in my next blog, and 'tis the season to be jolly and all that, so I'll stick to my word. If you've been following my previous rants you might have gathered that the games industry isn't all gumdrops and roses, but then most industry insiders tell you that from the off. Harsh deadlines, long hours, some crazy-go-nuts ego battles, and over-abundance of takeouts... like the littlest war veteran I've experienced these things and lived to tell the tale. It's strange but as much as I bitch about this job, I absolutely love it. Even when things are stressy it's in a good way... only a couple of times has it reached the point where I've had to excuse myself and go for a 10 minute walk through the freezing cold to avoid throttling someone. It's the same in any job I guess - stress happens. Get over it.

So it's almost 2008 and one of my new year's resolutions is to try and adopt a more positive outlook. It won't last, but they never do. But I honestly do love being a games designer. I love the design process, bouncing ideas off my fellow designers, getting their input, offering my own opinions about their ideas, slagging off programmers for kicks... One thing I took away from uni was a quote from my design tutor that 'if you enjoy your job you'll never work a day in your life'. It's true of this - I love computer games, and now I get to help make them. Even if the game we're working on isn't something I would normally choose to play, it doesn't matter, I can still do my part to make it something I wouldn't throw out the window if I HAD to play it. Like if I had a gun to my head. But then I suppose the gunman wouldn't really let me throw it out the window. But anyway, that challenge to make something that has every risk of becoming turgid and mediocre into something more than that is what keeps me, and I reckon most of my colleagues, going. The odds are against us - nobody expects a licensed game to be that good; even the more open-minded gamer isn't going to expect 10/10 greatness from us. But since I started I've wanted to take everything I've learnt from playing games most of my life and use it to help our game be considerate to the player and fun to play.

It's that weird thrill you get as well when you see one of the levels you've designed become fully functioning in good ol' 3D. I didn't get that until a few weeks ago because I was working on levels designed by my colleagues... but eventually my own designs were becoming realised, and it's the weirdest thing. Sure, a lot of things were chopped and changed (I think I moaned about that in one of my previous blogs), but the essence of what I created was there for all to see. And potentially thousands, maybe millions I guess, will see it as well. It's mind blowing, and gives you that added incentive to try and make it great. I'll be the first to admit my designs are a bit basic, a combination of the limitations stressed to me while I was designing and the fact I still have stuff to learn about making a truly great level with limited resources... but I worked hands-on with one of my levels and having played it through I think it's harmless fun... nothing too taxing or mind-blowing, but basic fun. There's still a few months to make it better of course.

Working hands-on with the team isn't something I thought I'd enjoy, but it's amazing how quickly you can replace shyness with confidence when you're thrown into a situation. I'm still not the world's most outgoing bastard, but having mingled with the artists and programmers for several weeks I've started to find a certain confidence which really is crucial for a designer (the actual designing process can be quite solitary if you want it to be, but when the stuff is actually getting made you don't have much of a choice but to go and talk to the people making it to make sure they understand it and such). I'm trying my best to be the 'agreeable designer' who doesn't storm over and make demands, but whereas before some of them would see I was new to this and walk all over me, now I'm a little better at telling them to do what they're told. Sort of. And if they don't, that's what the boss is for... Really though I just enjoy going over to programmers and artists and pledging my case, saying 'well this could do with being a little more like this, if that's okay' and trying to stay on their good sides. And I think they appreciate that; I seem to have some sort of trust thing going now with most of them. And it is actually sometimes genuinely interesting to find out why something won't work the way you want it to, so then the design crowbar comes in to try and make something else fit in its place. Trust me, it's fun.

Throw in the odd goody bag from publishers and the always-entertaining office spamming that goes on and you have a job I really wouldn't trade for the world. God knows I probably won't be saying that in a few weeks; we reached alpha (just about), but beta (the next stage, though I'm not sure what the standards are for this one) promises to be just as fun and is only a couple of months away. But I'm genuinely looking forward to the rush, because that's personally when I'm in my element and although it's exhausting and stressful it's also the point where you realise that despite everything you're still having the ball. Something is definitely right when you barely notice you've just worked 13 hours without lunch.

Anyway... Happy New Year and all that folks!

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